... and already Andrew Zirschky, Nazarene, Princeton Seminary junior and buddy of Cleave has figured out the Presbyterian way without so much as the benefit of a secret decoder ring or a Book of Order. Check out "Your church might be Presbyterian if ...":
Posted by Mike at November 21, 2004 07:54 PM | TrackBack
- If your church and the Church Triumphant are in competition for the same members, your church might be Presbyterian.
- If you fall asleep during your own sermons, your church might be Presbyterian.
- If the pastor refers to the "youth of the church" and your grandma steps forward, your church might be Presbyterian.
- If you've ever wondered if the pastor lipsyncs the Benediction because it always sounds exactly the same, your church might be Presbyterian.
- If the offering is considered a sacrament, your church might be Presbyterian.
- If "contemporary worship" refers to songs written anytime after the death of Calvin, your church might be Presbyterian.
- If the ushers use walkers, your church might be Presbyterian.
- If the contents of the church library and the Dead Sea Scrolls look oddly similar, your church might be Presbyterian.
- If you explain the denominational loss of 1 million people in 10 years by proudly saying, "They didn't leave, they died!" your church might be Presbyterian.
- If the authority of the church organist is considered on par with the Holy Spirit, your church might be Presbyterian.
Owwwww!!!
Posted by: Dave at November 24, 2004 08:59 AMMy "secret decoder ring" is the fact I've ended up at an 190-year-old Presbyterian church in Pennsylvania doing youth ministry. I haven't been able to reveal this on my site since I don't want the denominational rumor mills back in Nazarene-land to start churning, "He's become a Presbyterian!!!"
I haven't become a Presbyterian, but I'm sympathetic to the cause. After all, I believe in "right to life" and think it's important to keep things on life support as long as possible.
Regardless, the church I'm at is a great little place with a lot of good folk. But everything I wrote in that list is true. The pastor really has referred to the Church Triumphant every week I've been there. That's not a good thing. It's started making me nervous so that everytime an elderly person at the church says, "I'm going home," I don't know if I should say, "Bye, see you next week," or, "You'll be missed; cremation or burial?"
Posted by: Andrew Zirschky at November 26, 2004 11:15 AMI think we're all in trouble .....
Posted by: The Gray Monk at November 27, 2004 02:21 AM